Oh Happy Day!!

I just ordered my new laptop!!! I'm sooo glad!! The old one must be the very first laptop that they ever made!! And although I tend to exagerate at times, this thing is REALLY old. How about it has Windows 98 on it!!! Yeah - see what I mean?? Anyway, now I think I'll get a chance to blog much more often. I'm so excited!!!

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I don't know why I haven't written more.... I think that I am intimidated by some of the REALLY GOOD blogs that I have read. N.E.Ways... My boyfriend has turned into a ROBOT. He is NOT the man that I fell in LOVE with. It's easy to say "just get rid of him" "he's not the only man on earth", blah, blah, blah - but it's just not that easy for me. He is, by no means, my first love - but there is definitely something special about him. Until a few months ago, I was convinced that he was made JUST FOR ME... Why?? Well -- he's smart, caring, funny, down to earth, and CUTE. He put up with ALOT of shit for a LONG time, when we first met. I had just gotten out of a CRAZY ASS relationship and it took me some YEARS to get myself together. He was there thru all of that and now that I've come out on the OTHER SIDE--- HE IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MAN. I have already asked all of the difficult questions?
Is there someone else?
Do you still love me?
Do you even care about me?
Where do you think this is heading?
He says that his life is REALLY hard right now and that's it. My problem is that life is ALWAYS going to be hard... If this is how he handles it, should I just bounce???
Last Sunday, I had had enough - Enough of feeling unwanted - rag doll style... I called him and told him that I needed to talk to him. We hooked up and I just told him that if this is the best that he could, then I was done with him that night. I expressed my exasperation at feeling left out and let down and although I would be sad to leave him, I certainly would be no sadder than I have already been over the last few months any fuckin' way.
I explained that I have already cried for the last time over him... Not that I no longer care, but because I cannot walk around with a full bucket of tears... avoiding all bumps because one little glitch would send me spiraling, uncontrollably, into a certified FIT. That is not who I am....
We used to have goodbyes that lasted close to and sometimes over an hour. We would kiss and caress forever! We still did that well into the relationship... Now- there is NONE of that... Last night we met for dinner - which was a huge shock. At the end I gave him a ride to his car and we kissed.... It was the most pathetic kiss ever kissed... Pathetic- some shit that you might use on your grandma (or a Robot) .... a peck - lips barely fuckin' touched and that was it... He jumped in his little car and we went our own separate ways... No- call me later - NOTHING. I went and hung out for a bit and then went home and got in the bed. I didn’t call him, he didn’t call me and that was it. This morning, there was no mention of the fact that we didn’t talk last night. So sad....
So, what now?? Who the hell knows....
Well.... the CIAA Tournament is next weekend and Ol' Boy From Back In The Day is going to be there. We haven't talked, but we have been in contact, recently. He sent me a text on V-Day and I called and left him a message a couple days later. He called back and left another message - bona fide PHONE TAG. I'm kinda avoiding dealing with I’m right now. I'm so starved for attention/affection - there is no telling what I might do. I would love to see him, because he is so nice to look at, but what would that do for me?? Nothing, other than complicate things in the long run. I'll keep you posted.

This is for the birds...

I'm trying to develop my own pay plan. Now, I know that sounds like an easy task, but it's not.
I work for my Dad & have since I graduated from NSU in 2000. For the most part, everything has gone well & I really enjoy my current position. I am the BDC Manager and my department ROCKS!!!! We have done wonders for 2/3 service departments that we have taken on. So much so, that other dealers are considering outsourcing MY center to take on THEIR service departments!!! That is HUGE!!!
This is the problem: I feel as though I should be making more money. I work 7:30 to 6:30 Monday thru Friday and 8 to whenever...I usually leave sometime b/t 12 & 2. I eat a whole lot lunches sittin' at my desk!!! Not necessarily because I HAVE to, but if I don't stay and get the work done, who will??? My staff is really good, but they have their limits.
Lately I've been working like a damn dog on one of the largest projects that we have taken on, yet. This project is going to take up a ton of time, that I already have to squeeze a bunch of different tasks into. Ok, so now I want some more money!!
I talked to THE BOSS last night about this situation. THE BOSS that also ahppens to be my DAD. Okay, so I explained why I think I need a raise. He explained why he disagrees.
I say:

• I work LONG, hard hours - I am often the FIRST person in the building and the LAST one out
• My Call Center ROCKS!! We have done a great jobs & we have the numbers to prove it
• My pay is a mediocre salary with miniscule monthly bonuses
• There are Managers that do ont put in the time and effort that i do, don't work weekends, and would have a fuckin' coronary if they had to work after 5:00 p.m.

He says:

• I am not working for "now", I'm working for the "future" --all of this will be mine someday which should ber more important that what I take home now
• I didn't have any student loans to pay
• My gas & mortgage are taken care of, so I don't need anymore money because I must be just blowing what I have
• He agrees that my department ROCKS & that I do work LONG ass hours!!

Now, I must say that my Dad does a A LOT for me & I don't mean to sound ungrateful. But WHY should I be the lowest compensated Manager in the whole fuckin' operation??? That just does not make sense to me!! So, last night at the end of the conversation, he said that I can draw up a pay plan proposal and we will discuss it today (Saturday).

I'm having a problem making the plan because the output from my department is not CONCRETE. It doesn't show up anywhere on the financial statement. So it's hard to say "if we do so many of these things that I should receive this amount". I have to come up with something though, because this pay is for the birds!