Saturday Rambles
It's slow today, but I've decided to work every Saturday that I am in town, so here I am. At least I have time to catch up on my blogging.
I was in Winchester for a couple meetings earlier this week. Mo came in from Raleigh and we rode up together. Because both of our schedules have been so hectic lately, we haven't had much time to chat. The few times that we have talked, she has been questioning me about why Ol' Boy and I aren't together. That seems to be everyone's FAVORITE topic these days. I hadn't even had a chance to tell her about to the new development.
As soon as we get in the car, she tells me that she has been seeing some new guy for a few weeks and she's already in love. AGAIN??? WTF??? How is it that she has been "in love" at least 3-4 times- that I can remember over the last 4 years. Is that excessive or am I overly cautious when it comes to matters of the heart?? I do not fall in love easily. So it's hard for me to understand my friends that are in love every other day with someone else. Don't get me wrong, I have had my share of love in this lifetime but it has always been after a LONG while of getting to know the person.
Let's see, there have been 4 loves: JP, 24, Fats, & exBF. Somewhere in between all of them were the much less important bunch of others. Ok, but that's four guys that I've been in love with in 31 years - actually just the last 16 years.
Love & relationships are difficult and seem to be getting more evasive as I get older. Growing up, I never was one of those girls who just knew that I'd be married and have kids, but I have to admit that the last 2 relationships really had me diggin' the idea of it. Now I'm back to square one. Unsure of marriage. The idea of it just doesn't excite me like it did just less than a year ago. I feel unbalanced and unsure about where my life is heading.
Funny how one relationship (w/ exBF) has changed my outlook on "permanent" relationships so drastically. When I first met him - years ago- I was not interested in marriage at all. Then I got to the point that I was in love and wanted to marry him and we talked about it a lot. Now I'm not feeling thw whole marriage thing and although we're not currently together, he still talks about marrying me. Strange, huh?
I was in Winchester for a couple meetings earlier this week. Mo came in from Raleigh and we rode up together. Because both of our schedules have been so hectic lately, we haven't had much time to chat. The few times that we have talked, she has been questioning me about why Ol' Boy and I aren't together. That seems to be everyone's FAVORITE topic these days. I hadn't even had a chance to tell her about to the new development.
As soon as we get in the car, she tells me that she has been seeing some new guy for a few weeks and she's already in love. AGAIN??? WTF??? How is it that she has been "in love" at least 3-4 times- that I can remember over the last 4 years. Is that excessive or am I overly cautious when it comes to matters of the heart?? I do not fall in love easily. So it's hard for me to understand my friends that are in love every other day with someone else. Don't get me wrong, I have had my share of love in this lifetime but it has always been after a LONG while of getting to know the person.
Let's see, there have been 4 loves: JP, 24, Fats, & exBF. Somewhere in between all of them were the much less important bunch of others. Ok, but that's four guys that I've been in love with in 31 years - actually just the last 16 years.
Love & relationships are difficult and seem to be getting more evasive as I get older. Growing up, I never was one of those girls who just knew that I'd be married and have kids, but I have to admit that the last 2 relationships really had me diggin' the idea of it. Now I'm back to square one. Unsure of marriage. The idea of it just doesn't excite me like it did just less than a year ago. I feel unbalanced and unsure about where my life is heading.
Funny how one relationship (w/ exBF) has changed my outlook on "permanent" relationships so drastically. When I first met him - years ago- I was not interested in marriage at all. Then I got to the point that I was in love and wanted to marry him and we talked about it a lot. Now I'm not feeling thw whole marriage thing and although we're not currently together, he still talks about marrying me. Strange, huh?
posted by Ms.Behavin at 7:56 AM
3 Comments:
I've always been one to take a long time to fall in love, so I've never really understood people who seem to fall in love at the drop of the hat. I know people who have been in love, or seem to have been, in love every moment of their life...the next relationship is in the wings before the current one is over. For me, I invest too much in a relationship to even think about a new relationship for quite awhile after one ends. As for marriage, I guess it is different for everyone. I'm finally getting married next month, but there were lots of times that I didn't think it would happen or that I was unsure if I even wanted it to.
I think I have a tendency to get caught up with people too quickly. Trying to work on that. I feel you on the whole marriage thing. Deep down I do want to get married, but I just don't know what to think about it anymore.
HOPE: Congrats on the up-coming nuptials!
DEE: I would settle for some great sex, right about now!! :-)
SHUG: "Deep down I do want to get married, but I just don't know what to think about it anymore." That is an excellent way to describe it!!! That is EXACTLY how I feel!!! This shit is gettin' more and more complicated as the years move on.
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