blah, blah, blah
I don't know why I haven't written more.... I think that I am intimidated by some of the REALLY GOOD blogs that I have read. N.E.Ways... My boyfriend has turned into a ROBOT. He is NOT the man that I fell in LOVE with. It's easy to say "just get rid of him" "he's not the only man on earth", blah, blah, blah - but it's just not that easy for me. He is, by no means, my first love - but there is definitely something special about him. Until a few months ago, I was convinced that he was made JUST FOR ME... Why?? Well -- he's smart, caring, funny, down to earth, and CUTE. He put up with ALOT of shit for a LONG time, when we first met. I had just gotten out of a CRAZY ASS relationship and it took me some YEARS to get myself together. He was there thru all of that and now that I've come out on the OTHER SIDE--- HE IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MAN. I have already asked all of the difficult questions?
Is there someone else?
Do you still love me?
Do you even care about me?
Where do you think this is heading?
He says that his life is REALLY hard right now and that's it. My problem is that life is ALWAYS going to be hard... If this is how he handles it, should I just bounce???
Last Sunday, I had had enough - Enough of feeling unwanted - rag doll style... I called him and told him that I needed to talk to him. We hooked up and I just told him that if this is the best that he could, then I was done with him that night. I expressed my exasperation at feeling left out and let down and although I would be sad to leave him, I certainly would be no sadder than I have already been over the last few months any fuckin' way.
I explained that I have already cried for the last time over him... Not that I no longer care, but because I cannot walk around with a full bucket of tears... avoiding all bumps because one little glitch would send me spiraling, uncontrollably, into a certified FIT. That is not who I am....
We used to have goodbyes that lasted close to and sometimes over an hour. We would kiss and caress forever! We still did that well into the relationship... Now- there is NONE of that... Last night we met for dinner - which was a huge shock. At the end I gave him a ride to his car and we kissed.... It was the most pathetic kiss ever kissed... Pathetic- some shit that you might use on your grandma (or a Robot) .... a peck - lips barely fuckin' touched and that was it... He jumped in his little car and we went our own separate ways... No- call me later - NOTHING. I went and hung out for a bit and then went home and got in the bed. I didn’t call him, he didn’t call me and that was it. This morning, there was no mention of the fact that we didn’t talk last night. So sad....
So, what now?? Who the hell knows....
Well.... the CIAA Tournament is next weekend and Ol' Boy From Back In The Day is going to be there. We haven't talked, but we have been in contact, recently. He sent me a text on V-Day and I called and left him a message a couple days later. He called back and left another message - bona fide PHONE TAG. I'm kinda avoiding dealing with I’m right now. I'm so starved for attention/affection - there is no telling what I might do. I would love to see him, because he is so nice to look at, but what would that do for me?? Nothing, other than complicate things in the long run. I'll keep you posted.
Is there someone else?
Do you still love me?
Do you even care about me?
Where do you think this is heading?
He says that his life is REALLY hard right now and that's it. My problem is that life is ALWAYS going to be hard... If this is how he handles it, should I just bounce???
Last Sunday, I had had enough - Enough of feeling unwanted - rag doll style... I called him and told him that I needed to talk to him. We hooked up and I just told him that if this is the best that he could, then I was done with him that night. I expressed my exasperation at feeling left out and let down and although I would be sad to leave him, I certainly would be no sadder than I have already been over the last few months any fuckin' way.
I explained that I have already cried for the last time over him... Not that I no longer care, but because I cannot walk around with a full bucket of tears... avoiding all bumps because one little glitch would send me spiraling, uncontrollably, into a certified FIT. That is not who I am....
We used to have goodbyes that lasted close to and sometimes over an hour. We would kiss and caress forever! We still did that well into the relationship... Now- there is NONE of that... Last night we met for dinner - which was a huge shock. At the end I gave him a ride to his car and we kissed.... It was the most pathetic kiss ever kissed... Pathetic- some shit that you might use on your grandma (or a Robot) .... a peck - lips barely fuckin' touched and that was it... He jumped in his little car and we went our own separate ways... No- call me later - NOTHING. I went and hung out for a bit and then went home and got in the bed. I didn’t call him, he didn’t call me and that was it. This morning, there was no mention of the fact that we didn’t talk last night. So sad....
So, what now?? Who the hell knows....
Well.... the CIAA Tournament is next weekend and Ol' Boy From Back In The Day is going to be there. We haven't talked, but we have been in contact, recently. He sent me a text on V-Day and I called and left him a message a couple days later. He called back and left another message - bona fide PHONE TAG. I'm kinda avoiding dealing with I’m right now. I'm so starved for attention/affection - there is no telling what I might do. I would love to see him, because he is so nice to look at, but what would that do for me?? Nothing, other than complicate things in the long run. I'll keep you posted.
posted by Ms.Behavin at 11:23 AM
1 Comments:
about the "really good blogs"? don't be intimidated - they all have sucky moments...lol.
and on the dating front...well, everything works out eventually. meanwhile, have fun, and if u aren't having fun, figure out the who that can make that happen for you ;-)
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