Tuesday, June 13, 2006

A Symbol of Starting Over... My Ass!!!

I had no idea what I was going to blog about today, so I was just trollin' around, checkin' up on ya'll. I was reading Organized Noise's post titled Should I Stay or Should I Go? and he got me to thinking about a time in my life that has long since past. I decided to share, so here goes:
I used to date this dude, let's call him Fats - for obvious reasons, but I digress. Anyway we dated for about 7 years. We met when I was a sophomore in college and dated the whole way through. We hit it off, almost immediately and before our first year anniversary we had already decided that after school, we would get married. It wasn’t official and we had not started making official plans, but it was known by everyone – including both of our families.
As time went on, we starting going through all types of drama. I was immature and very stubborn and he had his own little set of problems. After I moved off campus, he moved in with me and that’s when things really got interesting. It turned into the type of shit that you see on T.V. including: infidelity, arguments so bad that the neighbors called the police, his threatening to commit suicide with a gun which I found out was fake when the police arrived, broken dishes and tables, & thrown away articles of clothing just to name a few. I even hit him w/ a car – my friend’s 1989 Escort! HA!
You would think that we would have gone our separate ways after that, but that was not the case. While I was preparing for graduation and life after graduation, I decided to move to the small ass town that I live in now for a job. He wanted to move with me, but that was a no-go. I had already decided and let both he and his family know that I was no longer interested in marrying him.
We tried the long distance thing for a bit, but that just made things worse. Come to find out: distance does not really make the heart grow fonder. Who knew?? Lol
One night we had a long conversation and I was explaining to him that I did not think that the relationship was going to work out and that we probably needed to take a break. He was not tryin’ to hear that and insisted that we needed to try to get things back to what they had once been. My birthday was right around the corner and he came up to hang out for the weekend. We went to The Olive Garden (my favorite restaurant at the time) for a nice little dinner and some drinks. During the course of the evening, he gave me a letter that expressed his feelings and his belief that we could/should start all over. Then he gave me a beautiful diamond ring!!! Now, this would have been great if I had not just told his ass that I didn’t think that we were going to make it. When I saw the ring, I almost started cryin’. – not because I was happy, but because this was the last straw!! How was he just going to completely ignore what I had just told him a week or two before?? Like once I saw the diamonds, I would just forget about all the other bullshit?? I told him that I was ready to go. He had just ruined my evening!!! He was tryin’ to explain that it was not an engagement ring; it was a symbol of starting over blah blah blah…. He just did not get it!!!!
We left and don’t think I said more than a few words to him for the remainder of his stay.
About a week later, we were getting off the phone and he said that he loved me. I begrudgingly said it in return and then got off the phone. As soon as I hung up the phone, I decided to call him back and tell him that I had to get out of the relationship. I couldn’t do it anymore. I knew that I was not going to marry him and there was no need to continue this relationship. So that was it. I ended it that night.
I did have some doubts afterward, but in the end and ‘til this day, I KNOW that I made the right decision. I still keep in touch with his younger sister every once in a while. I know that he and his family are doing well. His Mom is still hoping that we will get back together… ain’t gone happen Moms…
When I bought my house, I changed my number so that I would stop receiving those pitiful all night phone calls.

9 Comments:

Blogger sweetness said...

wow. i understand ur story i'm. ironically my post for today is about making the marriage decision.

10:38 AM  
Blogger The_Practitioner said...

Don't you just love those spicy relationships. Cursing, fights, police intervention, racial slurs...Doesn't it make you feel alive. ;o)

1:11 PM  
Blogger TRUTHZ said...

gurl ain't it a wonderful thing when you let go of unnecessary baggage you been draggin around for years?

9:51 PM  
Blogger Ms.Behavin said...

@sweet: Marriage is a HUGE decision... had I been crazy enough to stick with that fool, I would have already been divorced by now - I'm sure. That jackass probably would've tried to get me to pay him spousal support or some crazy shit. lol

@S.D: lol - Spicy is one way to describe it.

@Truthz: Wonderful doesn't even express the joy that I feel!! Freeing yourself from the grips of some crazy bastard does something for the soul!! ;-)

4:04 AM  
Blogger The Sarccastik Variable Why said...

well...u gotta do what u gotta do...kudos..

6:22 AM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...

Sometimes you just have to let go...
That relationship sounds like the one I had with my child's father....

6:44 AM  
Blogger Organized Noise said...

Thanks for sharing, although I feel bad about causing you to relive this. Glad you had the strength to end it. I know people who would have taken that ring and been miserable for a while.

3:47 AM  
Blogger Ms.Behavin said...

@Sarccastik: Thanx!

@Nsane: THe funny part about it is when you are in that type of relationship, it seems normal. lol - Luckily, I've grown up A LOT!! I hope he has, too. If he hasn't - the hell with him!! hehehe

@O.N.: No problem. Funny enough, it's not a painful memory. The times were not all bad. It's acyually pretty funny! I hit his ass with a car and he was still tryna get me to marry him!! Sucker!!! ;-)

7:42 AM  
Blogger Kontradiction said...

good for you. i'm proud of you.

12:50 PM  

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